How do most men regard marriage? As an expensive way of getting their laundry washed!

How do we know that Korach was rich? Because all his neighbors couldn’t wait for the ground to swallow him up!

The biggest Aveira the Miraglim did, is they checked out Eretz Yisroel in middle of the Zman!

A ‘Palestinian Moderate’ is what you call a Palestinian terrorist who ran out of ammunition!

What do you get when you cross a corrupt lawyer & a crooked politician? Chelsea Clinton.

Yichus is like a carrot, the good part is deep in the ground!

What did the centipede tell his Mashgiach who told him to come to Mincha? “Wait 20 minutes I am putting on my shoes”

A Yerushalmi once said “If I was Bill Gates I’d be richer than him. I would also do some tutoring on the side”.

Why do people daven so fast nowadays? Because you are supposed to Daven like you count your money & no one has money!

Guy: Help! I’m drowning in the Satmar Mikvah! Hatzolah: Which Satmar? Guy: There is only 1 Satmar! Come fast…

Why are they called a Tuna Beigel? Because on the outside it looks nice & geshmak, but on the inside its very fishy.

What’s the differnce between a mother-in-law and an elephant? About 50 pounds…

Lakewood bumper sticker: HONK IF ANYTHING FALLS OFF

Lakewooders are like an old Buick. They make a lot of noise, smoke a lot, & don’t work!

Why did the Brisker eat Koraich twice?
One for Zaycher Limikdash K’Hillel & once for Zecher!

A lot of people nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D.
Unfortunately, they don’t have a J.O.B.

Whats the hardest part about eating a tuna beigel?
The cell phone!

The day Chrysler makes something that doesnt suck will probably be the day they start making vacuum cleaners!

What’s the one Mitzvas Aseh Sh’zman Grama that ladies are Mechuyav?
Chinese auctions!

Why in Kollel is it called “seder”?
Because you sit Ongelient, you drink 4 Koises (of coffee) and you finish before Chatzos!